One of the major questions I’ve asked myself this summer is: Should I get Internet in my apartment or not? This should be a simple yes or no question, but I have created some sort of an insipid drama out of it.
The two main forces that are battling each other are convenience and time wasting. It is rather inconvenient not to have Internet at home, especially since it’s dangerous to walk around the neighborhood very late at night. Then again, is it really necessary to check email once every hour? Am I going to miss a life-changing opportunity if I only check my email twice a day? One of my greatest dreams is to follow a schedule that involves waking up at seven every morning, having an absolutely productive day including ten to twelve hours of solid work, an hour of exercise, and sleeping at eleven o’clock every night. Needless to say, this dream is but a dream. Shifting to earlier hours not only solves the Internet problem (emails sent at 3AM should expect a reply the next day) but also promotes good habits.
Over the summer, I slept remarkably earlier than during the year, typically at around midnight to 1AM. This continued until I realized that the library had a wide selection of DVDs, which brings me to my next point. At home, I typically use the Internet for four purposes: email, watching online episodes of tv shows, reading gratuitous fanfiction, and talking on AIM. I can only justify the first and the last as a means of keeping in touch with people. If I wanted to watch tv shows, I should just borrow them from the library. As for fanfiction, I could be reading much better written works of original fiction, also borrowed from the library. The problem is that I just can’t force myself to wake up at 7AM every morning and to sleep at an earlier hour.
The Internet is a huge time-waster, but I’ve become so dependent on it that I’m slightly lost without it. Since I really don’t enjoy calling people, I enjoy talking over email and AIM, where I feel that I get across more of what I actually mean. It’s also lazier and much easier. One problem is that it’s so easy to get side-tracked. I’ll be looking for an article, and suddenly reading the NYT, BBC, Independent, Boston Globe, and twenty other newspapers. Another problem is that there’s such a wide range of quality in websites. Aside from newspapers, I gravitate towards the simple ones because I don’t have to think about it. It’s easy to spend hours on IMDB and stare at pictures of actors and actresses and read random reviews.
Now as an addict of Internet culture, I’ve bought into the fallacy that ‘the world is at my fingertips’. When I can wiki almost everything and expect instantaneous results, it’s sometimes hard to remember that the real world demands self-discipline and dedication. Many people including myself see the Internet an artificial construct that spews instant gratification and removes the need to think or analyze. It’s true that there are quality websites on the Internet, but with so much floating around, it’s infinitely preferable to enjoy the cheap and instant thrill.
It’s not true that the Internet has somehow corrupted the way I think and taken away my ability to think, but I do think that it actually reinforces some of my perceived weaknesses. After wasting several hours and sometimes an entire day on the Internet, I always berate myself for not having enough self-control. Cheap thrills don’t take away the disappointment that comes later. It’s so much harder to trade the instant fun for the quiet satisfaction that results from doing something meaningful for an hour.
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