heard today

Friend: We have so many things to do!
Friend: Like watching Bolt, and making dumplings.
Me: And read finance papers.
*pause*
Me: Sorry.
Friend: I almost threw up there.
Me: Yeah.
Friend: It's understandable.
Friend: Finance does that to people.
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Friend: I have a weird interview for some "Research Assistant to the Vice Chairman" position.
Friend: I wonder if that's the official title for "bitch". Seriously, it seems really sketchy.
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About Crusoe:
Friend: He has green eyes! But a faux tan. That's hard for me to deal with.
Me: Is that a deal-breaker?
Friend: I don't know. He's yummier than Craig.
Me: I thought green eyes = hot for you.
Friend: Dude, a face is more than the sum of its parts. Although green eyes are yummy.
Me: You are too funny today.
Friend: What?
Friend: I mean, I objectify men, but not usually that much.