eulogy for my laptop

Last weekend, I almost had a heart attack when my laptop obstinately refused to start. After twenty minutes of emergency laptop CPR, I gave up and decided that my poor black machine had beeped its last. I was ready to compose a heartfelt speech of rememberance - and then my dad came in, pressed the on button (which I had pressed about fifty times) and it came to life again.

I don't think I'm a bad person, but I secretly hoped that my thinkpad R32 had chosen to rest in peace before it got replaced with a newer, faster, sleeker, more powerful T60. Anyway, here are some of my thoughts:

Thank you for being there for these four hectic years, and dealing patiently (and not so patiently) with some of the abuse that I have heaped upon you. You must understand, I never meant to drop you from four feet high onto a cement floor freshman year. I simply tripped over your cord. Also, I never meant to download viruses (It was all Eudora's fault) and corrupt your system (But as they say, in sickness and in health:))

By the way, what is up with the passive-aggressiveness (Or I should say: What was up?). You know what I'm talking about. Things like your CD-ROM drive failing to work after a year and the monitor shutting down completely in the middle of running regressions last year (Maybe more on the side of aggressive)? I'd like to believe that this is an interdependent relationship, not a collection of vindictive, petty squabbles.

No matter. The past is the past. I do salute you for getting me completely and utterly addicted to Google and the Internet, my bread and butter. Maybe not directly, but you're a tricky one. I am now a sophisticated creature dependent on instant gratification and one-click shopping. I will miss you dearly, and since you are still around, I'll probably abuse you until the very end. Don't complain. It's mutual.