Saturday, March 24, 2007

10 signs that your date might be doomed

1. You met several times at the allergist's clinic before going on a date.

2. Your date is an ex-almost-pro football player who weighs three times more than you do and has a jealous girlfriend who weighs twice as much as you.

3. Your date (female) thinks that you (male) are a homosexual.

4. Your date brings you to a two hour long Hebrew service and you don't speak Hebrew.

5. At an ice-cream parlor, your date (female) orders two scoops of chocolate and you (male) order one small scoop of mango sorbet. She then stares at your sorbet and comments, "It's light and fruity, kind of like you."

6. Your date asks if you would ever consider dating someone twice your age... (See 7)

7. Your date asks you if it would bother you if you dated someone with kids your age.. (See 6)

8. You break the ice with facts about dieting before your date informs you that she used to be anorexic.

9. You're watching a movie with your date about the African-American experience (neither of you are African-American). Ten minutes into the movie, she turns to you and loudly asks you why everyone in the movie is black and all of the black people in the theater (everyone) turn around to look at both you.

10. Your date enthusiastically picks off all of the croutons in your salad without asking you first.

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