the days fly by

I got nothing accomplished today. Absolutely nothing. First of all, the only other girl in my program came in after a week of hiding in her room, and I was so excited that we spent hours giggling and not getting anything done. One of my coworkers told me that his noise-cancellation earphones weren't advanced enough to mute our giggles. We gossip a lot, make exploding sounds, draw stick figures on the white board, talk ghetto, sing bad songs, and torment our colleagues. Basically, we're like five-year olds.

Of course, I also worked on my tennis ball catching skills today (I can catch with one hand!) and realized that I can't beat guys in arm wrestling (or anything sports related). It's not fair that I'm so deficient because I'm a girl. On a different note, I realized that I can get things if I pout and/or whine enough. This disturbes me slightly b/c I feel like I get my way just because I'm a girl and it seems like I'm cheating. I'd rather fight for it (but I'd lose).

The highlight of my day was picking out a birthday card for one of my colleagues. I think my sense of humor got the better of me because he's going to know right away that I was the guilty party responsible. We insult each other within an inch of our lives. Poor boy. I'd like to think of it as honing my sense of humor.

I'm mostly just glad that my cough is almost entirely gone. I barely slept last week and almost went crazy because I was putting in 16 hour days of studying. The guy who lives in the room directly above mine told me that he could hear me coughing at night. That's pretty bad. I would sit in classes and really hope that I wouldn't die coughing. I think I definitely started pissing people off with my coughing. The worst was not being able to sleep. I became scared of trying to go to sleep because I knew that I'd just start hacking my lungs out. Of course, that made it even more difficult to sleep. I became even bitchier than usual.

But classes are over, and I can't bring myself to be too stressed yet (maybe tomorrow). Maybe I'll go to the office and actually get something done if I can stay away from the temptations of playing catch and teasing my coworkers.

doom and destruction

My marathon weekend of bad movies continues with Doom and Chronicles of Riddick, both of which I watched for one actor. Watching bad movies is sometimes fun because I can laugh and mercilessly tear everything apart. You need to go in there ready to laugh and to have absolutely no expectations at all.

It strikes me how few actors actually make it to the top in Hollywood. There are only a few dozen faces which get recycled over and over again. I don't have strong feelings for the Rock, but I rather enjoy Rosamund Pike's cultured, quiet way of acting. She reminds me of a less intense version of Cate Blanchett. I liked her in Pride and Prejudice and thought that she did an admirable job in The Libertine. Anyone who's able to hold their own opposite Johnny Depp should receive several awards.

Doom was utterly horrible, though perhaps not as bad as Chronicles of Riddick. Although Chronicles of Riddick had some sort of half-baked story (Doom's storyline was even worse), the cinematography was off-putting. The necromancers didn't seem so much aliens as having bad hair and even worse clothing. Whoever said Vin Diesel was hot must have been on drugs. His voice sounds reminds me of the Sahara desert. Not to be shallow or anything, but I can't appreciate men who sound like they've swallowed an entire colony of frogs. There's nothing hot about him. Everything about him screams gangster and blue-collar.

The major problem I had with Chronicles of Riddick was Vin Diesel's glowing white orbs. Honestly, the entire movie seemed pointless. There are evil people who are taking over the world (they don't seem too evil) and less evil people (but still evil) who must prevent them from doing so. Add in a few metal headpieces, double sided pikes, people who disappear, and the indifference just explodes.

Doom isn't better, but at least it doesn't pretend to be important. The strange thing about this movie is that there isn't much action. Considering that Doom is the forefather of first-person shooter video games, the fact that the movie goes on for half an hour without a shot being fired is disconcerting. There's an unconvincing sappy family story and some genetic mutation crap that tries painfully to be semi-intelligent. Spare us. There's a lot of mystery and dark things lurking around even darker corners, but not much in the way of substance or action.

clueless

It's been so long since I've indulged myself in chick flicks and otherwise pointless movies. When Clueless first hit the theaters, I wasn't even in double digits. When I started watching, the first thing I thought was: People really wore that in the '90s??? Was there a plaid revolution? And where are the bagpipes that go with the kilts?

Despite the cluelessness of it all, there's something to be said about the movie. Some of the dialogue is way sharp and Alicia Silverstone has a sweet, pouty air about her that doesn't exactly inspire nausea. I admit that I love Paul Rudd, despite his insipidness. He's just the nice, all around big brother but not big brother with a really nice smile. Even though Cher's so fake, they're still totally adorable together.

I enjoyed watching Clueless so much more than Cruel Intentions. Cruel Intentions just felt like young adults trying to be teenagers trying to be grown-ups. Ryan Phillipe comes off not so much as angsty as trying to be angsty and self-important. I find that I enjoy watching older actors and actresses much more than those around my age because they're more sure of themselves. They know who they are and have the experience and depth to convey more emotion.

Generally, ultrasweet and sappy girls onscreen annoy the hell out of me (i.e. Kirsten Dunst). It's even worse when it's forced and feels like it's forced. I dislike watching actresses who don't have the capacity to be anything but the sweet damsel in distress. It's not that I'm an incredibly deep and angsty and complex person, but I'd like to see it onscreen once in awhile.

Sarah Michelle Gellar was all right in Cruel Intentions, though nowhere as evil as she was supposed to be. Selma Blair was just an idiot (I guess she nailed her part dead-on) and Reese Witherspoon was all right. Frankly, I expected the movie to have a little more bite, but I guess I'll live.

ad infinitum

Yup. I'm at a new motivational low...yet again. The predictability of my life is becoming slightly grating. When you're prepared for the peaks and the troughs and they're exactly where you thought they'd be...it's hard to drum up any feeling for anything.

In theory, there's some crap like I have control over my life. Everything always works perfectly in theory, but reality is just a mass of gray splotches. I feel like I'm going blind. It's wonderful to have dreams, but then I wake up and life's about paying the rent, paying my taxes, wondering when I'm going to fit getting married and having kids into my life, if I'm going to finish all of my problem sets on time, if I'm going to become a professor, and if I do, if I'll get tenure, how much fatter I'll get if I don't exercise...so it's easier not to have dreams at all. It's easier just to not care because it hurts too much to look outside and not see anything.

It's frightening because I think that I had dreams at one point. Now I just don't care. Reality's gotten the best of me. It's easier to take the path of least resistance. I'm tired of fighting and tired of trying to change. Honestly, people don't change that much after a certain point unless they're traumatized, and I could do without. I think the worst thing would be if I still felt like this in ten years. It's not so much the world rushing by me as the feeling of everything standing still. What's the point?