doom and destruction

My marathon weekend of bad movies continues with Doom and Chronicles of Riddick, both of which I watched for one actor. Watching bad movies is sometimes fun because I can laugh and mercilessly tear everything apart. You need to go in there ready to laugh and to have absolutely no expectations at all.

It strikes me how few actors actually make it to the top in Hollywood. There are only a few dozen faces which get recycled over and over again. I don't have strong feelings for the Rock, but I rather enjoy Rosamund Pike's cultured, quiet way of acting. She reminds me of a less intense version of Cate Blanchett. I liked her in Pride and Prejudice and thought that she did an admirable job in The Libertine. Anyone who's able to hold their own opposite Johnny Depp should receive several awards.

Doom was utterly horrible, though perhaps not as bad as Chronicles of Riddick. Although Chronicles of Riddick had some sort of half-baked story (Doom's storyline was even worse), the cinematography was off-putting. The necromancers didn't seem so much aliens as having bad hair and even worse clothing. Whoever said Vin Diesel was hot must have been on drugs. His voice sounds reminds me of the Sahara desert. Not to be shallow or anything, but I can't appreciate men who sound like they've swallowed an entire colony of frogs. There's nothing hot about him. Everything about him screams gangster and blue-collar.

The major problem I had with Chronicles of Riddick was Vin Diesel's glowing white orbs. Honestly, the entire movie seemed pointless. There are evil people who are taking over the world (they don't seem too evil) and less evil people (but still evil) who must prevent them from doing so. Add in a few metal headpieces, double sided pikes, people who disappear, and the indifference just explodes.

Doom isn't better, but at least it doesn't pretend to be important. The strange thing about this movie is that there isn't much action. Considering that Doom is the forefather of first-person shooter video games, the fact that the movie goes on for half an hour without a shot being fired is disconcerting. There's an unconvincing sappy family story and some genetic mutation crap that tries painfully to be semi-intelligent. Spare us. There's a lot of mystery and dark things lurking around even darker corners, but not much in the way of substance or action.